Finding the Best Preschool & Why I Toured Eight

When I started touring preschools I had high hopes. Preschool is a magical colorful time of songs and smiles and butterflies and rainbows – isn’t every preschool the best preschool? Even though I was anxious about spending so much time away from my daughter, I knew she was ready and was sure she would love it. So we set off on what would turn out to be a long and stressful – and totally worth it – preschool search.

I had no intention of touring more than one school. There is a very well thought of preschool in our town and it didn’t even cross my mind that it wouldn’t be a fit for us. Yet slowly, as we walked though the dimly lit halls, little doubts started creeping in:

“It’s so dark and dreary in here, that’s not what I imagined.”

“18 kids to two adults? That’s quite a lot.”

“They have to walk downstairs by themselves to go to the bathroom?”

“That exit door right next to the classroom is huge and all glass and not guarded and couldn’t someone easily get in here?”

“Why are the teachers only talking to me and not even looking at my daughter?”

I left the tour feeling uneasy. Was I being too picky? Were my concerns legitimate?

After sleeping on it, I woke up deciding I wouldn’t feel confident sending my daughter to that school. I’m a stay at home mom, after all, I don’t NEED to send her anywhere – and I certainly don’t want to worry the whole time she’s there.

Ok, then. That’s not the school for us. Let’s move on.

So, We Started Our Preschool Tour Journey

I asked around and got recommendations for other preschools. We toured them all. While there was nothing glaringly wrong with any of them, that little voice of doubt found its way in every time.

Finally, I decided preschool’s not for us. I can provide homeschool education that more fits my values and we’ll get socialization through other activities, like dance and gymnastics.

Everyone, including my husband, thought I was crazy. Kids love preschool! Your daughter is ready! I’m sure one of those schools is fine!

But in my heart, I knew it just wasn’t right.

And Then it All Changed

While getting my haircut and explaining my preschool saga to my stylist, she gently mentioned that her children had gone to a Montessori school that was a 30-minute drive from town. “It’s 5-days a week, so you have to be ready for that”, she explained, “but I would send my kids there through 12th grade, and pay, if I could.”

I went home and scheduled a tour for the next day. Last ditch effort, I suppose.

We walked into a beautiful building with lots of natural light, gentle music, and a clean, calm space. Ahhh. The owner of the school met us at the door and went straight for my daughter, getting on her level, looking in her eyes and accepting any nervousness and shyness she had in stride. That felt nice.

While we toured the building she showed our daughter some of the work that students choose at school and let her explore while she spoke to me. She explained the Montessori philosophy and her own values, which left me mesmerized. “All day kids are asking through their behavior, ‘do you see me?’ ‘do you love me?’ ‘am I good enough?’ and it is my job to answer them through my behavior, ‘yes! absolutely!'”

I left the school with a spring in my step. It’s a fit! It’s lovely! Dare I say, it’s perfect! I know I’ll feel absolutely comfortable sending her there every day and I know she’ll thrive.

Flash Forward to the Start of School

A 60-minute round trip commute with an 18-month-old in the car five days a week? Yikes. Everyone looking at me like I’m insane when I tell them where we go for school? Not fun.

But you know what? It is all emphatically and absolutely worth it. We are IN LOVE with the school and all the teachers.

Without knowing it at the time, I was searching for a preschool that aligned with my own parenting values. I am working so hard at home to parent in the way that is meaningful to me, why am I sending her into a school that could entirely debunk that with one stray sentence from an overtaxed teacher?

Luckily, I found what I was looking for.

Our daughter is learning confidence, kindness, and boundaries in an environment that accepts and loves her for exactly who she is. Her wonderful teachers want her to love herself and be proud of herself and not look for external validation. They want her to be independent and to learn problem solving and self regulation. Of course she learns math, science, reading, even Spanish and sign language – but that’s not what’s most important to me.

And I learned an Important Lesson

As an anxious mom who has never left her kids with even a babysitter, I sent my daughter to school on her first day without so much as a tear. I am so confident we finally found our place and every day I feel thankful that we did.

It can be hard for moms to trust our guts. That so called ‘mothers intuition’ that’s suppose to lead me has guided me down some pretty weird paths. But in this instance, I am proud that I listened to it. There was something out there that more closely aligned with my values and I’m seeing the pay off every single day.

So, here’s to every mom out there listening to the little doubts in your head and following your instincts. At the end of the day, that’s all we can do.