How to Navigate the Holidays with Positive Parenting: Phrases

Positive parenting can be difficult. And the busy, chaotic holiday season certainly doesn’t make it any easier. When we are filled to the brim from creating holiday magic, it’s easy to have a shorter fuse. And that’s okay! We’re all human!

That’s why I love integrating a few key positive parenting phrases into my language that I can count on at the drop of a hat. I focus on a few phrases at a time, print them and carry them with me. I tape them on my refrigerator and bathroom mirror. I do my best to practice them until they become second nature.

I’m sharing my favorite holiday-related positive parenting phrases to help your holidays go smoother. Less ‘over-exhausted-snapping,’ more ‘I-like-how-I-handled-that.’ And what will happen, then? Well, with holiday cheer, – your connection with your kids will grow three sizes this year.

Positive Parenting Phrases to Use this Holiday Season

This phrase has the ability to both prepare your kids in advance (something that helps them immensely) while letting them know they have choices. It’ s a beautiful thing!

• “How will you choose to say thank you when you get a gift? You can say, ‘thank you’ or give a hug.”
• “How will you choose to say hello to grandma? You can give her a hug, wave hello, or give her a high five.”
• “We’re going to a party that will have lots of cookies. What kind of cookie will you choose to eat?”

Giving kids the power of choice while simultaneous limiting them is like a mom magic trick. The key is that both options you give have to be something you’re okay with. They can choose either and you’ll be happy (and so will they!).

• “You can have a cookie or a piece of cake. You pick!”
• “You can open one present before dinner and the rest after dinner, or you can open all your presents after dinner. You pick!”
• “You can put on your shoes by yourself or I can help you. You pick!”

Oh, I love this one, and you can even use it for younger kids. It eliminates any shame while still correcting behavior. Alternately, you can use “He/She’s learning” to point out young family members who may need help.

• “You’re learning to wait your turn. We have to take turns opening presents.”
• “You’re learning to use gentle hands. Remember, if you want to play with the baby, you have to use gentle hands.”
• “Your baby cousin is learning to pick up her toys. Let’s be a good example and show her how it’s done!”

A great phrase to have in your back pocket for almost any situation – good or bad. Again, it eliminates shame while correcting or celebrating behavior.

• “I notice that you’re having a hard time with this decision. Would you like me to decide for you? “
• “I notice you’re feeling nervous to give grandma a hug. Would you like to say, ‘no thank you’ or would you like me to help you say no?”
• “I notice that you’re really excited about that present. I can’t wait to play it with you after we finish opening presents.”
• “I notice you’re playing using gentle hands with your baby cousin. That’s such a kind way to play with him.”

I’m saving the best for last. My absolute favorite positive parenting phrase! ‘Thanks for telling me’ says ‘I hear you’ and ‘I appreciate your feelings’ all at once with minimal effort. I say it constantly, all day long. On days I am exhausted or feeling frustrated (like around the holidays), this phrase is my best friend. Sometimes your brain can’t think past ‘Thanks for telling me” and some days, your kids don’t need it to.

• Kid: “Mom! I don’t like that present. I really wanted something bigger and better.”
  You: “Thanks for telling me.”
• Kid: “Mom! I don’t like going to grandma’s house, it smells funny and my toys aren’t there.”
  You: “Thanks for telling me.”
• Kid: “Mom! I love playing with my cousin, I can’t wait to see him. I’m going to show him all my new toys.”
  You: “Thanks for telling me!”

These phrases have not only built a beautiful connection between me and my kids, they have made my parenting journey more joyful. If you’re looking for more positive parenting tips, check out my other post in this series: How to Navigate the Holiday Season with Positive Parenting: Prepare.

What ways do you keep your sanity during the holidays? Let me know in the comments below!