How to Navigate the Holidays with Positive Parenting: PREPARE, PREPARE, PREPARE!

The holidays are a time of comfort, joy, and major meltdowns (for kids and adults alike). The drastic change from normalcy is enough to throw kids off their game. As an introvert, I especially relate to this. There are lots of people around, family we haven’t seen in a long time, new expectations, new places, lots of sugar… it’s no wonder holidays are a perfect backdrop for epic tantrums.

Knowing ahead of time that meltdowns are possible (and even likely) can help you stay cool in the moment. There’s nothing wrong with your child, there’s nothing for you to feel ashamed about, and any distant family member who wants to comment can be ignored (“I’d rather not discuss this” is my favorite response).

But there are some things you can do to help the holidays go more smoothly. Here are some positive parenting tips for navigating the holidays:

Prepare, Prepare, Prepare!

There’s so much new about the holidays and we often take our kids in unprepared – because we think they’ll be excited or because we just don’t consider discussing it beforehand. When kids have an idea of what to expect, they can be better prepared emotionally. Here are some examples:

“Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and we’re going to Grandma’s house. We’ll take a long drive and when we get there you will see your cousins and aunts and uncles. How will you choose to say hello to everyone? Will you give them hugs? Wave? High fives? You choose!”

“We will be eating a special dinner at a funny time. We eat Thanksgiving dinner earlier than we normally eat dinner. We’ll have turkey and mashed potatoes and some new foods too, like squash and stuffing. What will you do if you’re not sure you like a food? You can say, ‘No, thank you’ or you can take a small amount and try it to decide if you’d like more. Please don’t spit out or throw any food.”

“When we have Thanksgiving dinner I’m going to ask you to sit at the table. When you’re done with your dinner you can ask me to be excused and I’ll let you leave the table.” (Little ones can’t sit still for the whole dinner!)

“Tomorrow we’re having our family over to celebrate Christmas. We’ll get to open presents and give presents, too. We’ll all take turns opening presents. When it’s your turn to open a present, I wonder how you’ll choose to say thank you to the person who gave it to you. You can give them a hug or say, ‘Thank you’ – you choose.”

“Sometimes we get presents that we aren’t very excited about, or even things we already have. It’s okay to feel disappointed and it’s still kind to say thank you.”

“You might be really excited about the first present you open, and that’s okay! We’ll play with your favorite presents as soon as everyone finishes opening all the presents.”

“We’re going to see Santa today. We’ll wait in line and when it’s our turn you can choose to sit on his lap or stand next to him. What will you choose?”

“You’ll be able to tell Santa what you’d like for Christmas. What will you ask him for? Afterwards we’ll smile for a picture and then go have hot cocoa!”

“I notice you’re feeling scared about meeting Santa. It’s okay to feel scared. I wonder what might help you feel better. Would you like to say hi from a distance? Would you like me to go with you? Would you rather not meet Santa? All of those are good choices.”

Preparing kids for the festivities helps them understand what’s happening and what’s expected of them. They can manage their emotions more easily and enjoy themselves with less stress.

If you’re looking for more positive parenting tips, check out my other post in this series: How to Navigate the Holiday Season with Positive Parenting: Phrases.

What ways do you prepare your kids for the holidays? Let me know in the comments below!